Show, Don’t Tell
Have you ever watched a movie where the characters just stand around and talk about what they’re going to do, instead of actually doing it? Boring, right? Imagine if Indiana Jones spent the whole movie explaining how he intends to find the Ark of the Covenant, but never actually dodges a single booby trap, outruns a giant boulder, or punches a Nazi. Big yawn.
This is where the screenwriting rule “Show, Don’t Tell” comes in. It's one of the most important rules in storytelling: Let the audience see what the character is doing rather than just hear what they’re thinking. Actions speak louder than words, after all. And it’s not just a good rule for movies – it’s a good rule for life.
Think about it: How often have you said you wanted to get in shape, learn a new language, or finally write that novel? But instead of just doing it, you spend your time telling everyone about it. We’re all guilty of it. I’ve done it, you’ve done it – even Anakin Skywalker probably did it before finally becoming Darth Vader…
“I swear, one day I’ll dress in all black, and wear a helmet, and fight my son.”
“Uh huh, suuuure you will, Anakin” *rolls eyes*
But talking instead of showing actually does more than waste our breath. Here’s the kicker: When we talk about the things we want to do, our brains actually trick us into feeling like we’ve already done them. Seriously. Studies have shown that simply talking about our goals releases dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter, similar to the rush we get when we actually accomplish something. It’s like getting a participation trophy without even running the race.
Think about that for a moment. Every time you tell your friends you’re thinking about getting that gym membership, your brain rewards you with a little dopamine pat on the back, as if you’ve already put in the reps. No wonder you’re not seeing numbers decrease on the scale. You’ve been pre-programmed by your own brain to be content with merely announcing your intentions instead of acting on them.
So how do we break the cycle? Stop talking and start doing. Like Yoda said, “Do, or do not. There is no try.” Maybe you’re trying to lose weight, but you either do or do not go to the gym. And it’s understandable: Losing weight takes time. It’s like building a wall, and that can be overwhelming. What if you stopped trying to build a wall, and focused instead on laying each brick as best you can, one at a time. Just do that. Before long, you’ll be able to step back and realize you’ve built a wall after all.
Want to impress that cute person who loves music? Telling them you’re learning guitar is cool, but actually playing them a song is what will deepen their interest. Want to win your ex back? Telling them you’ve changed might buy you another chance, but then they have to see it.
Now, don’t get me wrong – it’s fine to share your plans and dreams with others. But if you find yourself constantly telling people what you’re going to do, ask yourself if you’re actually making progress, or just chasing that dopamine high. The best stories are the ones where the hero takes action, not just endlessly discuss their intentions. What kind of Die Hard movie would it be if John McClane simply threatened the bad guys the whole time? You’d want your money back. You didn’t pay to see that. You paid to see him blow up a goddamn plane.
Remember, you’re the writer of your own choices in life. Instead of writing endless dialogue about what you’re planning to do, start filming the scenes where you’re actually doing it. Don’t just talk about your dreams; show yourself (and others) that you’re building towards them. Because in the end, you don’t want your story to be a monologue with little payoff – you want it to be an action-packed blockbuster full of things happening.
